An old Italian man lived alone in New Jersey. He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden; but it was very difficult work as the ground was hard.
His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:
Dear Vincent,
I am feeling pretty sad, because it looks like I won't be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like in the old days.
Dear Pop, Don't dig up that garden. That's where the bodies are buried.
Dear Pop, Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances.
___________________________________
His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:
Dear Vincent,
I am feeling pretty sad, because it looks like I won't be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like in the old days.
Love, PapaDear Pop, Don't dig up that garden. That's where the bodies are buried.
Love, VinnieDear Pop, Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love, Vinnie___________________________________
Check here: So THAT'S How The Chicken Crossed The Road!
___________________________________
that is awsome
ReplyDeletelol, funny and sweet, oh that vinnie, he is a character!
ReplyDeleteThis is a joke from 'Porridge' a famous english TV Series !
ReplyDeletelike it very much all the same ! XD
I've heard several variations of this joke. It still made me lqtm.
ReplyDeleteYeah I first heard that one on Porridge as well, still a great joke though
ReplyDeleteThis joke gets funnier each time I see it or hear it.
ReplyDeleteWhat the fuck are FBI doing in Italy?
ReplyDeleteAnonymous said...
ReplyDelete" What the fuck are FBI doing in Italy? "
The story said...
"An old Italian man lived alone in New Jersey."
Learn to read asshat
It says in the first line that he lives in New Jersey.....You must be American if you're that thick.
ReplyDeleteYou must be English if you use words like "thick"
ReplyDeleteHey now, no need to lump Americans into one bunch. Every nation has its fair share of the retarded.
ReplyDeleteyeah and i think we all know that the Brit's have more than their fair share...
ReplyDeleteIt is great to cheer up.
ReplyDeleteIt is great.
ReplyDeleteNice one ;)
ReplyDeleteDosn't matter how old the joke as long as it makes you laugh and enjoy
ReplyDeletelove this :)
ReplyDeletehonestly if this is true,that is fucking awesome
ReplyDeleteYe us Brits got sick of our fair share and sent them to a island the other side of the Atlantic, I heard they're doing well, a little oily.
ReplyDeleteI suppose that it's a good thing that our ancestors'style of guerilla warfare during the American Revolution was so mind-bogglingly retarded from the points of view of *your* clever ancestors, or King George wouldn't have been able to get rid of so many of his surplus militia so easily. (Soldier population control was his key interest in the whole matter of course-- he had no interest in having control of a large, fertile, ecologically diverse, uncrowded, and virtually unscathed land-- and that's why he sent a group exclusively of idiots to occupy it, yet pretended to trust them to work for him instead of going native and rebelling.
ReplyDeleteIf not, you'd still be stuck with us, albeit we'd still be all the way over here on this magic little "island". (It's actually quite a lot larger on the inside than you'd think from observing it's diminutive outside appearance.)
Dear most of the world,
ReplyDeleteWhy do you hate the United States of America? Honestly, I could deal with being hated, but it's the assumption that we're all stupid that sets me off. We're not all gun-toting, god-fearing, money-grubbing, loud-mouthed lunatics. But even if we were... Why would you want to provoke someone like that? What's the sense in it? It just doesn't seem like something a person would do if they were highly intelligent.
Sincerely,
~An American
Dear Mandi,
ReplyDeleteI believe the reason that Americans are often thought of in such a way is that it's often how they are represented in the media. I am English and to be honest stupidity irritates me, but i know that generally idiots are the minority and if they aren't, well, there are at least going to be exeptions to the rule. I think it is wrong to band all Americans together under the label of idiocy, as it would be wrong to label any nation in such a way.
British people also have a bad reputation that isn't entirely deserved, i can only compare it to when you are at school and you go on a trip - a small group of people (maybe even just the one) misbehave and future trips get cancelled because the whole school gets a reputation as housing horrid children.
Hopefully i haven't strayed to far from the point and i hope your question has been answered.
Sincerely,
Helen.
what a joke,
ReplyDeletethe english are retarded. get over yourselves foul, nasty euro-trash.
ReplyDelete"the english are retarded. get over yourselves foul, nasty euro-trash."
ReplyDeleteThats why Mandi.
HA HA
ReplyDeleteHow people act on the internet and how they act in real life are two entirely different things. And to judge an entire group of people regardless of where they are from, from the random post of one person is dumb. And why is there a grudge from the American Revolution? Last I checked that was over 200 years ago, thats like holding a grudge because of slavery 150 years ago... oh wait jk! :)
ReplyDeleteHopefully he wanted those tomatoes planted 4-6 feet in the ground. I am assuming that they didn't just dig 8 inches and give up.
ReplyDeleteHow about the British and Americans hug and make up.
ReplyDeleteI like both places equally.
or maybe, I hate them both equally.
Okay go team.
Funny Joke by the way,,
if it matters
geo-polli rants on the heals of a silly joke.
ReplyDeletewell done fucking herbs
America has deteriorated over the years as a result of not following directions from the first president of the united states. If anyone remembers reading George Washington's farewell address everything he told us was a bad idea we did. It turned out he was right about everything.
ReplyDeleteSigned,A disappointed American
ps i loved the joke
I am from England and have lived in most of its previous colonies.(currently in India) although i have seen some pretty stupid people around the world America takes the cake. (quite literally to with an obesity rate of over thirty percent in Tennessee) and as to "the english are retarded. get over yourselves foul, nasty euro-trash." i think you all need to pull you heads out of your asses and have an epiphany. Haven't you ever wondered WHY the US is the most hated company in the world? Its because assholes like this guy "the english are retarded. get over yourselves foul, nasty euro-trash." give your country a bad name. so instead of defending yourselves cant you just accept that this type of person is prevalent in your society and DEAL with it?
ReplyDeleteYours truly, the voice of reason.
PS: loved the joke!
What our neighbors to the north (the British) have failed to "realize" is that when we freed ourselves from their slavery (thank you Lincoln) we no longer have to listen to what they say.
ReplyDeleteLike this joke shows we should all just get along.
p.s I like the Royal Family so there.
Love Helen.
Helen, I sincerely hope that you aren't thanking Lincoln for freeing the U.S. from England.
ReplyDeleteLove, A Concerned American
All of this because someone was to damn slow to realize this took place in Jersey, and NOT Italy. Admit your fault, let it go, and move the fuck on. It's a joke, not stereotypes and politics. You get a joke to make someone smile, and you guys get into a debae of who is better? Who cares, it won't pay the bills.
ReplyDeleteThe joke was good. Politics are a lost cause--rearranging the deck chairs on a sinking ship shot by its own torpedoes.
ReplyDeleteThis joke should be a healer between the US and the UK feud. It was good enough for both them and us and can be found in a very British comedy (Porridge) and I'm sure it will have been used in American comedy also. Heal through the laughter!
ReplyDelete