Deep within a forest a little turtle began to climb a tree. After hours of effort he reached the top, jumped into the air waving his front legs and crashed to the ground. After recovering, he slowly climbed the tree again, jumped, and fell to the ground.
The turtle tried again and again while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watched his sad efforts. Finally, the female bird turned to her mate.
"Dear," she chirped, "I think it's time to tell him he's adopted."
Thanks to Ryan over at 9kik for this weeks Jokey
Showing newest 39 of 41 posts from January 2010. Show older posts
Showing newest 39 of 41 posts from January 2010. Show older posts
Venus Williams: Bad Underwear Color Selection
This is "Safe For Work" as there is underwear being worn here...I think!
Amazing Photography
This "between the legs" photo is one of the better I've seen!
Drop a comment and let me know what you think...
Other Great Photography...
How To Avoid Camera Loss
Best Leaning Tower of Pisa Picture
Great Action Stills
Drop a comment and let me know what you think...
Other Great Photography...
How To Avoid Camera Loss
Best Leaning Tower of Pisa Picture
Great Action Stills
Sunday Jokey: Bus Driver
A little kid walks into a city bus and sits right behind the driver and starts yelling, "If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow I'd be a little bull."
The driver starts getting mad at the noisy kid, who continues with, "If my dad was an elephant and my mom a girl elephant I would be a little elephant."
The kid goes on with several animals until the bus driver gets angry and yells at the kid, "What if your dad was gay and your mom was a prostitute?!"
The kid smiles and says, "I would be a bus driver!"
The driver starts getting mad at the noisy kid, who continues with, "If my dad was an elephant and my mom a girl elephant I would be a little elephant."
The kid goes on with several animals until the bus driver gets angry and yells at the kid, "What if your dad was gay and your mom was a prostitute?!"
The kid smiles and says, "I would be a bus driver!"
14 out of 14 people found this review helpful
This place is BAWLIN' yo. Chicken Nuggitz be crispy like you never SEEN!
Best review ever!
This is for real, check out the other 16 review and how helpful they were on Google Maps!
Here's a couple more...
Best review ever!
This is for real, check out the other 16 review and how helpful they were on Google Maps!
Here's a couple more...
Tiger Woods In Rehab For Sexual Addiction
These are the exclusive first photos of Tiger Woods in rehab for sexual addiction at a clinic in Hattiesburg, Mississippi.
The golfing great has not been seen in public since crashing his car into a tree shortly after Thanksgiving.
He checked into the Gentle Path program, part of Pine Grove Behavioral Health and Addiction Services.
The photos of Tiger appear in the new issue of the National Enquirer.
Multiple sources confirmed to RadarOnline.com that Tiger is being treated at the clinic which features a sexual addiction program created by Dr. Patrick Carnes, who has pioneered treatment for sexually compulsive behavior.
The Enquirer broke the world exclusive story of Tiger's five-month affair with Rachel Uchitel. After that report appeared, more than 14 women were linked to Tiger as his secret life of cheating became public.
Now the Enquirer is reporting exclusive details of Tiger's treatment and has solved the mystery of his location since Thanksgiving. The Enquirer photos, taken from far away, are grainy and it is difficult to see Tiger's face. He is wearing a hoodie and a baseball cap, making it even more difficult to see details.
But the new report leaves little doubt that it is Tiger. Magnification of the photos also shows facial hair that he has sported in the past and adds more detail.
And an eyewitness confirmed there was no doubt that the man in the photograph is Tiger, saying that while he was bundled up, the golfer was recognizable in person.
Tiger is living without a roommate in one of the cottages at Gentle Path. The Enquirer reports that he checked into the six-week program on December 30.
Two local TV stations have reported that Tiger is in the facility and a writer for the New York Times has also confirmed the report.
Now the Enquirer's new issue adds more details about why he checked it, the state of his marriage, and his average day in therapy.
Tiger Trojan Ad
Here are a couple of funny Tiger Trojan advertisements since the recent news!
Here's another good one for a supersized one! :)
Here's another good one for a supersized one! :)
Kitten And The Parakeet
I used to be a parrot tamer. I later got a parakeet and a kitten and using tiny pieces of the cat treat Bonkers, I was eventually able to teach the cat to run around with the parakeet perched on it's back.
Hmmm, unexpected ending. I was expecting feathers around that kittens mouth.
Humor aside, it's interesting how animals learn to behave based on exposure to other animals during their early life.
Had this been a cat, the parakeet would likely be dead. Instead, these two animals are likely to form a bond. It's beautiful, really. Certain biological instincts are suppressed by nurture, and a trans-species relationship is formed, while human society still deals with racism.
Hmmm, unexpected ending. I was expecting feathers around that kittens mouth.
Humor aside, it's interesting how animals learn to behave based on exposure to other animals during their early life.
Had this been a cat, the parakeet would likely be dead. Instead, these two animals are likely to form a bond. It's beautiful, really. Certain biological instincts are suppressed by nurture, and a trans-species relationship is formed, while human society still deals with racism.
Building An Awesome Sandcastle
Do you remember the days when making a sandcastle was as simple as putting sand in a bucket and turning it upside down. This dude must use some pretty special buckets, because this sandcastle and sculptures are pretty amazing.
Here is more of this guys work...amazing!
Here is more of this guys work...amazing!
Sunday Jokey Blonde Mortician
A man who just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit.
The female blonde mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed. She points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing.
The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives the Blonde mortician a blank check and says, 'I don't care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.'
The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly.
She says to the mortician, 'Whatever this cost, I'm very satisfied. You did an excellent job and I'm very grateful. How much did you spend?'
To her astonishment, the blonde mortician presents her with the blank check.
'There's no charge,' she says.
'No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!' she says.
'Honestly, ma'am,' the blonde says, 'it cost nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice.'
'So I just switched the heads.'
The female blonde mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed. She points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing.
The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives the Blonde mortician a blank check and says, 'I don't care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.'
The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly.
She says to the mortician, 'Whatever this cost, I'm very satisfied. You did an excellent job and I'm very grateful. How much did you spend?'
To her astonishment, the blonde mortician presents her with the blank check.
'There's no charge,' she says.
'No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!' she says.
'Honestly, ma'am,' the blonde says, 'it cost nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice.'
'So I just switched the heads.'
Redneck Christmas Tree
This has to be one of the better Redneck Xmas Trees that I've seen. Definitely takes a lot of road huntin to get all them racks!
You Were The Joker...Right?
Jack Nicholson doesn't look very pleased...but since Heath Ledger is no longer with us, maybe they forgot!
Battery Security Protection
Thanks for the reminder to "please remove prior to putting in microwave"
Here's what happens if you do microwave a battery...
Here's what happens if you do microwave a battery...
Sunday Jokey
A guy gets on a plane with 6 kids. A lady says awwww...are all these your kids? He says no, I work for Trojan and these are customer complaints!
Dick Towel Photobomb
This comes courtesy of NextRound
The dick towel is awesome...this guy had this planned or left it in his car in this sort of "emergency"!
The dick towel is awesome...this guy had this planned or left it in his car in this sort of "emergency"!
When is a Thumbs Up Appropriate
This is one of those times when it is!
Chick on top of chick on a water slide...worthy of two thumbs up!
Chick on top of chick on a water slide...worthy of two thumbs up!
Calvin Impersonation
This redditor's wifey does a pretty good job impersonating Calvin's facial expressions. Your opinions???
**Click to Enlarge**
Kim Kardashian and LeeLoo
Been a while since I added some sexy photos, here's a leeloo from 5th element costume...
And Kim Kardashian in a bikini with that nice ass!
And Kim Kardashian in a bikini with that nice ass!
